Source: A Simpler Time…


  

Darkness envelopes my mind

Agonizing decisions

Fatigued from the grind.

Seemingly always in our own way

Endless visions 

I close my eyes, and I pray.

Second guessing is so not me

Unwanted decisions

I open my eyes, and I see.

My love for you warms my heart

Future visions

Unwavering devotion from the start…

Simply put, I am in love.

Buffalos Joey I

10-9-2015


  

The weight of mistakes takes a toll

Wondering how one moves ahead

A vicious cycle trying not to dig a deeper hole

One thing I know is I won’t roll over and play dead…

We try so hard to keep smiling and pretend

I know what my intentions are

Refusing to acknowledge that this could be the end

Distance means nothing when you wish upon that star…

If you were only here now

You would surely understand

That the love this man has for you

Is engrained in every DNA strand

It’s been hard

the distance,

for you and I

I hear it, in your voice 

Please try not to cry…

Truly in love

I am and always will be

We cannot allow the negativity 

Keep us from enjoying a love that is pure and free…

Buffalos Joey I 

9-24-2015


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It’s the simple things
that make me smile
Like a trek in the woods
Holding hands for a while

Snuggled in
Watching a show
Sharing a meal
Yes fresh flowers make her glow

Taken back
to a simpler time
Where nothing matters
But her love of a rhyme

Happier now
and I am content
So turned on
By her amazing scent

A lucky man
And I must declare
She was worth the wait…
Boy do I love to stare

With her beautiful smile
Endless red hair
I will go the extra mile
To show her I care

I’m in love and content
And she knows it to be true
My heart beats faster
And I am no longer blue…

Carry on I shall,
As she deserves the best,
To be a better man
And forget all the rest…

Buffalosjoeyi
9-21-2015


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Today I cried

A part of my past lied

My brain is fried

A piece of my, heart has died.

My tear ducts swell

In a daze I almost fell

Staring into space I dwell

Is it your soul,  you would also sell?

I wish this were all fake

My demise is what’s at stake

My heart and soul you wish to take

But my resolve, you cannot break.

Get your blanky its story time still

Running your mouth almost at will 

I must admit I’ve had my fill 

I may forgive but stay out of my grill

I will raise them to be men

Enjoy life while they can

They will know where I’ve been

For they are cubs,  in the lions den.


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If she only could…

If she could only fathom the beauty that I see
Maybe her life would be a bit more stress free
Always worried about what they might say
Yet her beauty I cherish every day.

It is the little things she does
That make my heart skip a beat
The beauty of her everything
Is what makes our love so sweet…

That last first kiss
We shared together was grand
Lucky do I feel
When I get to hold her hand.

Although we share less time
Our love doesn’t diminish
We lit this fire together
And it’s a love that will never finish…

Buffalosjoeyi
9-18-2015


  
Jealousy, vindictiveness, evil to the core,

Trying to live my life 

Yet it’s,  always about more.

Cruelty, meanness, it’s all about you

We have found ours

Move on, is what you should do.

Sadness, pain, is all this really brings

Time and money gone

Let go, of the puppet strings.

Smiles, memories, are what life’s about

Love and happiness I have

Continue on, never any doubt.

Buffalosjoeyi

9-13-2015


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It’s a most difficult day,

Words are but few…

To hold you close,

Is all I want to do.

Decisions that are made,

Have consequences just the same.

We cannot be afraid

Nor choose to throw around blame.

Your beauty remains seared

Frozen in my mind

When confronted by another

I promise to be blind…

What we share together is great

It’s a love story for the ages

I cherish this very moment,

Writing about you on these pages…

I Love my Ginger,

Buffalos Joey I

8-4-2015


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Over the last few weeks much has been happening in my life. Many of you know the struggle that life has been for myself. The struggle is real (Q). This has been the toughest period of my entire existence. I have said it before yet it bears mentioning again, I am not wired to be a part-time Dad. When my situation changed in April of 2011, I was lost. Asking for a divorce brought a world of hurt in many ways. Losing my children was not where I envisioned my life going but it happened. Being a weekend Dad is painful and arduous.

I would go twelve days before a quick, short and joyous forty-eight hour visit. When the boys left once again, the silence crept in and with it the pain. These times were the most excruciating moments I have had to relive over and over. This is the sort of anguish that reminds me of the movie “ground-hog day”. Some say pain of loss eases over time, yet this is much different. My house becomes a home for those short periods and then numbness takes hold. It was only the knowing that its twelve, then eleven and then… yeah the countdown, it kept me going somewhat. Most days we would go without contact and this seems corny, but I cherished the phone time regardless of the shortness of the calls. The sound of their voices is the nourishment I need to get through the twelve days of hell.

As I stated before there have been many changes. I received four summons for court late last year . Two Courts, one for support and the other for custody and visitation. This is nothing new, and I cannot afford a Lawyer so I decided with my closest friend that I would represent myself (Pro se) and pray for a good outcome. It is a new County as they live two and a half hours away now. Maybe I will catch a break. I am still in the process of all of it and all seems to be going fair for which I am eternally grateful so far.

THEN… It happened.

I received a letter from My ex’s attorney outlining a situation I thought could only be a dream. We are still negotiating and working out the details but the big news is… I am for now, A full-time Dad. These are words I thought were only parts of dreams. My eldest son is now living with me (three days and counting). He starts school tomorrow here where I live and I cannot help but feel elated and conflicted. I have two sons and the thought of splitting them up is agonizing. I do realize this move is best for my eldest and I promise the world I will do everything I can to make it work. There is still a part of me missing though. I’m still missing my youngest boy from my every day life. His sadness as we left, heartbreaking and agonizing. He cracks me up with how tough he is. My youngest will be OK, this I know. I love them both so much…

As I write this, I am reminded of how many Moms and Dads have to do this week in and week out, others with much less visitation and for some the visits never happen. Through the blog, my page (selfish promotion coming), and most importantly my support group (OK wait for it…) I found a world where I was not alone. I am forever indebted to so many for their support, kind words of encouragement and their sharing. The sharing made me realize that not only am I not alone but my story and situation could have been much worse. I have felt every emotion and relived so much pain over the last three plus years that most would give up. When this started I had to find new ways of rebuilding our life and have our little things all over again.
We needed our routine back. There are two that I will share, the first is silly but we keep it going even today:
Kiss, hug, wiggle nose, high-five, hand shake, thumb war and RPS followed by tickling that always make them smile.
The second and more importantly is we boys have a saying. “We are Imperis and we never give up”. This little saying is so powerful. It’s a little thing we share and it means so much to me, and I know it means the world to them! We have survived it all and have grown so close. They are my everything and I cannot ever thank my boys enough for believing in their Dad.

The worst is now in the past and I am a better man because of all of this. I never thought I could actually say that. The insanity of it all though is the bittersweet feeling of only being half way there. Divorce is tough on everyone, but especially the children. If your situation is not producing a harmonic household, don’t stay for the kids. Do what is right, save your sanity and possibly that of your kids as well. We have survived and I know you can as well…

I am forever grateful that I found this outlet.

Your support means so much to me.

Please like, share, comment and spread the word.

Kids deserve both parents!

You can find me all over the place:

@FB- Joe Imperi
Dads Rights Coalition of NY (group admin)
Dads Rights Coalition of New York (page admin)

Google+ @ Joseph Imperi

Joseph.Imperi@gmail.com

buffalosjoeyi@yahoo.com


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I define parental alienation as a purposeful attempt by one parent to try to dissociate the child from their other parent. 
Parental alienation comes in many forms. It can be as definitive as zero contact with a loved one or as complex as sporadic visitation and limited phone contact. In extreme cases, it can be years before the noncustodial parent has contact of any kind with their child.
Parental alienation comes with pain so intense it brings tears to even the strongest of parents. There is never closure. You lose what you love and relive the pain of separation over and over. The pain never goes away and hurts more as time goes on. I have yet to learn how to cope with this pain. Alienation is and always will be a cruel and unusual form of child abuse. It keeps a loving parent from being a complete part of their child’s life. Through all the madness, the child is left feeling confused, neglected and hurt. They often blame themselves. We must all agree that if the alienated parent wants to be a part of their child’s life, estranged spouses and court systems must allow unfettered contact. It’s in the child’s best interest.
When two adults decide that there is nothing left to give each other, extreme sensitivity must be given to afford the child equal and uncompromised access to the non-custodial parent. Studies have shown that court systems rarely award shared custody. But the fact remains that, at least here in the States, one judge makes the final decision. We all know that there are two sides to every story. It is a dire shame that the complete truth is rarely revealed. 
My case is basic, yet albeit a sad one. My ex is unwilling to allow even the simplest things, like individual phone contact. For three and a half years I have been communicating between visits while my ex monitors and interrupts our speaker phone conversations. It is blatantly obvious that she coaches answers to questions and mutes the line often. She is also the owner of the world’s shortest battery life iPhone in history. Our judgment of divorce awards me reasonable phone contact, yet I average less than 15 minutes a week with my children. I call every single day, multiple times, yet rarely do I get through. It’s a stress that has seeped its way into my everyday life affecting not only personal relationships but my own wellbeing. Not being there hurts enough, but no contact between visits is becoming debilitating.This suffering is the true test of my endurance.
Alienation is not something we can easily hide and it slowly takes its toll. This pain and weight we carry comes at a huge cost. How we choose to deal with it can be life altering. This is not a main stream subject and many are unwilling to openly discuss this topic. It is taboo. It can be humiliating, frustrating and difficult to understand. If we continue to ignore these harsh realities the next generation will grow up to accept and possibly display this behavior. The impact on my children is disheartening to witness. I worry how their opinion of me, and of their mother, is altered by this constant tension. How will they act as adults toward their partner, toward their own child? If my phone conversation with them turns to anything resembling my happiness, a life lesson or anything that is important and/or relevant to just us, I am cut off and forced to wait another three to four days just to hear their voices again. This direct retaliation goes unchecked and it’s horrifying how it continues. 
Life has become a delicate balancing act. It is difficult to be completely honest with my children when they ask questions of why and how. I refuse to discuss the ugliness that has become my twelve days of sorrow between visits. I remain as upbeat as I can when we speak. Simply stated, children deserve the love and respect of both parents. The child’s wellbeing is of the upmost importance. Make shared parenting a priority. In the end, the alienated parent and child suffer the wrath of the alienator. The insanity of it all is that alienation is child abuse and we need to raise awareness.
Early on, I began documenting my side of the storyin my blog: www.dadsrightscoalition.wordpress.com I write because it’s the one thing that helps meconstructively express my sadness. I continue doing what I can to save my sanity, one blog at a time. My devotion and love for my boys hascompelled me to become an advocate and champion for parental rights. I do this in honor of them. 
 

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You may find me on FB @ Dads Rights Coalition of NY (group), Dads Rights Coalition of New York (page) and Google+ Joseph Imperi.
10/23/2014

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